A transformational part of growth is recognizing your energy leaks. With how much we take on during our day-to-day lives, it’s safe to say we don’t have any space for drainage. I’m talking about soulful energy efficiency here - where you feel fueled by your encounters!
Learning about your individual healthy boundaries is an experiment. Often, people don’t know where the line is until it is crossed. Sometimes it even takes multiple times for us to know when it’s happening. Only then do we start to get the idea… We teach people how to treat us by showing them what we allow & will endure. It is a fine language to learn about the depths of your compassion & patience. These are wonderful qualities to have but once your boundaries are beginning to be crossed & you’re feeling lower in energy, they turn into tolerance.
The art of honoring your true feelings comes easier for some than for others. It requires access to your heart & throat chakras. Begin to activate these energy centers to ease into your authentic expression. The more you practice cultivating boundaries with others, the easier it will get & the more confident you will feel. Start to notice where your energy leaks may be coming from. If you are experiencing emotional drainage, you are probably a loving, giving person who just wants the best for everyone.
Invite your power back to yourself by making yourself a priority. You cannot give from a place of love when you are not giving love to yourself. Anyone in our lives is capable of crossing our emotional boundaries, may it be a lover, friend, neighbor, coworker, employer, or even a stranger in passing. Once you start taking your energy back from the drainers in your life, your quality of life will increase tremendously. It is 100% worth it to address the difficulties in life that are holding you back from your fullest expression. You are meant to be here, enjoying life & living out your purpose as a gift to the world.
Noticing you aren’t listening anymore, rather you are waiting for a conversation or interaction to end
You feel that seeing certain people is more of a chore/obligation rather than a joy
Experiencing irritation easily
Getting sick more often
Difficulty with digesting
Feeling stuck in life circumstances
Ask yourself reflecting questions when you feel off
Be honest with yourself about what you really want in life
Ask yourself why you are tolerating certain people & their behaviors
Realize that speaking your mind honestly doesn’t have to result in drama
Ask a friend or supportive individual if you can reflect with them a scenario that has been troubling you
Free-flowingly write these people a letter on how you feel without sending it. If you want to send it, revise first
Have faith that it is also okay & natural for people to leave your life when you are strengthening your boundaries
Be inspired to regain your energy & vitality through expressing your boundaries
Do breathwork before expressing your boundaries to calm your nervous system
Practice mudras, meditations & affirmations to strengthen your energetic field
Gather crystals for energetic protection & strengthening both the heart & throat chakras
Clear your energy every day when you get home with smudging, a bath or shower
Your friend won’t stop ruminating on the downfalls of her romantic relationship & sharing every detail of it with you. You share your insight & offer some reflections yet she continues the downward spiral of being completely encompassed by these woes. You now feel hopeless in the situation & drained. Sometimes people would rather a listening ear than advice on how to deal with their problems. This can be honored if there is not an indefinite open end to this type of conversation. If it goes on and on and on to no end, then it becomes draining to have to process all of these emotions for another person.
You can still be a supportive friend while stating your needs for an end to this conversational topic. An example may include: “Hey, I care about your wellbeing so much that I’d like to help you come up with 3 things you can do after this conversation to get closer to the outcome that you’d like. Whether it is talking to your lover, creating your own boundaries, or even walking away - what are the next steps you’d like to take?” Sometimes they need to be halted in their story in order to be guided in the final loop. If it doesn’t end up on the solution trail, you’re allowed to request a change of topic in conversation. You may even offer an energetic cleansing or healing session to help them transmute this cycling energy of fixation within their body. Assess how much you have to give.
You are out & about, either at a gathering, event, party, or even just at a café doing your work. You begin chatting with someone & the flow is naturally progressing into intimate details about your life. The topic of your last love that you are still processing (in a sensitive state) comes up. You’re taken aback because you don’t feel the desire to cry at this moment but the tears are right behind your lids… What do you do? You don’t want to seem emotionally shut off or like you’re avoiding this part of your life, do you? You don’t necessarily want the conversation to just end with this new person you actually enjoy chatting with. But you are feeling like a topic has been accessed that you’re not ready for.
Remember the power of emotional honesty.Here’s a possible response: “Hey, thank you for genuinely listening to my story, however, I’d actually like to save this topic for another time when I feel ready to process it with another person. I’ve been doing a lot of inner work with this, but the wound still feels fresh. Is there anything this brought up for you that you’d like to talk about?”
You’re doing the most basic errand in your day until you hear your name shouted from the near distance…who could it be? It happens to be someone that you really don’t have time for! Yet they begin to ask you how you are doing & then transition into talking about their life for the next 10 minutes. Your foot begins to tap with impatience. This person has no social cues of how you are feeling. They are totally encompassed in the bragging of their new (toxic) relationship, their work, their kids, their home life - everything under the sun is being brought up as if you are on a lunch date that you agreed to, yet you are really just at the gas station waiting to go finally put the pump in your car. You’re even having really bad menstrual cramps, standing with your hands over your womb (she doesn’t notice).
It’s time to speak up! Here’s a possible response: “Hey love, I’m so glad to hear you’re doing incredibly well in your new life, however, my dog is in the car & we really have to get going. I hope you have a wonderful day with your lover & give the kids a hug for me! Bye!” or “Hey love, I’m so glad to hear you’re doing incredibly well in your new life! I do have to get going now, but it’s so lovely to see you.” Give a big smile and walk awayyy. Sometimes emotional honesty won’t be received, know your audience.
Your employer begins to ask things of you that go beyond your pay grade or intended duties of the job title - without any signs of a potential raise or promotion. You start to wonder if you are being taken advantage of for either labor or your time. They even start asking for freebies once you are off the clock… This is a big no no & you must cultivate faith in the fact that speaking your boundaries will enhance your work environment AND, if not, something better will arise because you are taking the initiative to honor your soul. (I am noticing that in the region I live, people get away with under paying. Some of them even try to pinch pennies of your time by asking you to stay late or pick up extra days just because they themselves are going out of town.)
If you need the money & don’t feel drained, then pick up the extra days. But if you are feeling like your own life endeavors are not being respected, don’t agree to those terms. Remind them that you were hired for a specific position. Ask questions about the possibility of a raise. Offer extra services specifically in exchange for a higher pay rate.
All of these scenarios might remind you of some instances that had you feeling similarly drained. They happen on the regular if we are intuitive, sensitive beings. They happen to everyone actually, but it truly takes a pause to notice it happening to you!
Remember that you are a divine being made up of every magical particle within the Universe & beyond. You are more powerful than these life circumstances. You don’t want to waste your time feeling bad, putting up with things, or getting taken advantage of when you are meant to be living your best life.